he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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