I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed