Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist