that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
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Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
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Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.