We won't sleep together?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
