Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
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In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
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Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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