Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
