Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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