a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize