Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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