If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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