its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
