Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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