Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
