Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
