My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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