the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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