we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
