I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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