No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
