Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
