when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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