Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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