everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
