I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
