So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize