i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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