Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
