He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
