I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize