I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My pussy is not your playground.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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