what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
