Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
