im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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