i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
