Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
