she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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