I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
