You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
