My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
