If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
