So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No subtext here. People are naked.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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