I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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