He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
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Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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