How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
