I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
