Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
