i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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