He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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