True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
