if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
