yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
