if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
