I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
