508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
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Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize