Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize