eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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